The nose isn’t just a little bloody when I blow it now, apparently it’s actively bleeding in my sleep. Only a little, no cause for concern, but I’m finding myself considering the pros and cons of having a nose. I chuckle for a moment remembering M teasing me about a pimple or some other random aberration on my nose I don’t notice due to the lack of use of mirrors.

At 3:30am, is there too much on my mind to sleep again after five hours of sleep? I find myself doing this math a lot. Sleeping a solid night is really hard. One part stress, one part age, one part heart? Oh, heart. Some days you just don’t know what’s good for you. You’re like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie…

I thought about reading, but there’s so very much to do at work I might as well drink a cup of coffee (since All City isn’t open yet) and go in. I can always nap there later.

Some time ago I was writing about fear, reading back over it, patterns jump off the page at me. It’s not my fathers duty (or is it?), but if it wasn’t for my heart I’d probably spend a lot of time head down getting shit done. Which would probably be an imbalance.

I’m still operating on the general belief that I can’t control how I feel but I can control my actions. When people really don’t care how I feel, out of common disinterest in feelings, lack of proximity, or just being emotionally incapable of dealing with it, I have to afford them that and go about my business.