Fuck that shit. Remembered this.

At the 9lb tonight with friends, reminded of M commenting on how me being a computer geek there in carhartt suspenders would have gotten me beat up or whatever a few years ago. I brought this up recently, and again tonight. Consensus on the direct implication as amount to literally and figurative “bullshit.” T commented recently on anyone not being able to know from my appearance what I do for work, but further I’ve always gotten along well with tradesfolk due to personality and experience.

All of that aside, of which there is more of, why would M say that? Is this more personal identity issue? K offered that it sounded like social identity issues without my leading. Because who cares, unless you’re worried about this group accepting you, because you get your identity and self worth from it? More posturing. So tiresome and disappointing. Disappointing insofar as it makes her feel so immature and uninterested in growth. Was she honest when she said she never wanted to grow again? Probably partially, a knee jerk defensive reaction. She often seemed defensive about implications that she wasn’t good enough in some way. While talking about owning her problems, it sounds much more like an excuse to be how she is than accepting responsibility for ones flaws and working from them.

I’m feeling tired of falling in love with people who aren’t taking themselves seriously, I’m tired of not being impressed with their depth of character.