I joked that I wrote 5000 words a day in here. I wonder what the average is for the last few years by day. I couldn’t find a WP plugin for word count that is actively maintained on short notice, oh well. All I managed was some plugin that describes the readability of my post.

I promised I would embarrass her and write about ‘love jail’ in my journal. On the whole it sounded very cynical, but the more we talked about it and the more she regretted providing my sarcasm such great fodder, the more it sounded like a fear than anything else. Conversations about a relationship limiting you from being yourself seems to be the topic of the day. Why is there so much angst toward relationships? Why are long term relationships pegged “the way the last generation did it?” It’s not so much that it just isn’t hip to be into a long term relationship, but there’s a general distrust for serious commitment or marriage being a good idea, like it is inherently false and shoved down our throats. Like, maybe we’ll put up with it, but only just a little, because we love our parents and struggle with pleasing them, mostly.

In the words of President Denis Leary, let me just say that I am pro-tit all the way. No, wait, I’m pro-long-term-relationship. Yeah, that’s right. Via facebook, “marriage is over rated.” Way to pull the cliche card sir, congratulations on bringing something thoughtful to the table. You’ve joined this debate on a day full of talking to interesting people with interesting thoughts on the topic, so it is feeling kind of pathetic at the moment.

One conversation today was about struggling with having identity and contentedness outside of a relationship, and then bringing it into the relationship. Another was about how relationships tend to squander personality and isolate you from friends. Yet somehow they were the same conversation. I don’t mean that in a meta way. They’re not the same because they’re both about relationships or both about the human condition. They are the same because they are both about how our relationships affect who we are. Here we all sit, waiting for a relationship to finally “work out”.

Yes, I’m happier in a relationship, with someone I can trust [or at least believe I can until the end] to care about my emotional well being, my interests and my life. Someone I can love who will appreciate that in a way that comes out as more than nice. I’m going to keep trying until I meet someone who gets that.