Much conversation has been had across the last week on the subject of short-term versus long-term relationships. More specifically what you’re looking for from the start, not necessarily what you’re willing to live with, such as accepting complacency in finding a relationship that is comfortable but not what you really want. I realized recently that I knew what I wanted, but I hadn’t given much thought to the labels. From the start, I’ve always been looking for a relationship with the hopes it would work out in the long-term. I missed the concept of a short-term relationship because it didn’t make sense to the rest of me. I realize now that not everyone I’ve dated has been on that path. A couple conversations lately have been poking at the exterior of this. One about breakups where someone says “something just isn’t right”, and can’t finger it, but wants out immediately rather than discussing it. Fear of their own feelings? Guilt for having feelings for someone else?

Even when I crossed the bridge of evaluating what I wanted from a relationship rather than assuming the path was obvious, I seemed to have missed this. Having a checkbox on the stranger personals for both short and long term relationships (among others) went over my head with only a “huh”. So now when I’m peeking between the blinds of my feelings toward others, I’ve been somewhat carefully considering what it is that they really want, how exactly they want to live their lives and how they are now. The quote from last night about emotional imperatives is stuck in my mind. Carefully, as openly as possible (not easy! hard work!), I’m working towards conversing on these subjects more.