I had a date the other night. I’m not really dating, although I am still spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about relationships. She asked me out though, and I figured it would be a good time. I always already pretty sure she was politically a northwestern alt-hippie.

Sidebar. I’ve lost my patience for causes. I still mostly like my volunteering, and they were never causes for me. They are meaningful ways to spend my time. That probably sounds like a cause, except that I don’t expect to save or change the world. I’m kind of an asshole in that I am prejudice against the anti-[anything] work and [whatever]-normative education, insofar as I tend to check out at first mention. I don’t think she was too turned on by that, but she was quite the reasonable and interesting person, and reacted pleasantly to my honesty.

When I was around twenty, I lived in the attic of a warehouse. I always had people around. When it got to be too much, I would head to Dad’s in Surry. Home is so far away now. Mom lives only an hour and a half away, but it isn’t that simple. Even when we still lived in Maine, there was always a couch, but at Dad’s I always had my bedroom to go to.

On a test ride of the GMC after a weeks worth of work, T and I caught in some lyrics a bit about money not buying happiness. I really feel like I need to skip town. On the BMW tonight, wandering around, I kept thinking of L.

R disappeared, which is good for her. It’s not even May still. June is still unfathomably far away.

Where does one buy a headstone anyway?