QC hits home, perhaps in a way only I understand. How many relationships in the last year have I started with good intentions but effectively ended with saying, its me. I’m so god damn afraid I’m always going to feel like I’m settling for what I should want over what I do. 🙁
One thing that I have learned is that to find something, you must first know – in a detailed way – exactly what it is you’re looking for. And you don’t even have to be actively “looking,” you just have to first know exactly what it is you want so that when it shows up, you know. Also, I believe that what you focus your energy on ends up being drawn to you. So when you are specific, you’re more likely to find something where everything you want lines up.
That’s not to say that you don’t know exactly what you want – you very well might. I don’t think we’ve talked about the subject before, so I have no clue. Just thought I’d share a bit about what I have observed in my own life and those around me, if it’s in any way insightful.
Lets try to remember to talk more about this the next time we hang out and maybe I can conjure up some back story. Comments here are always encouraged though.
This ties into what we talked about last night in regard to happiness though; our conversation about being in the woods in Maine and grinning. The things that make me feel ‘happy’ are much rarer and far between than the things that feel ‘nice.’ The reminds me of Denis Leary.
Sarcasm aside though, I have a distrust of my feelings. I doubt that if I got up today and chose to center my life around the things that I desire, that I’d stay happy. As it is, I work toward the things that are nice.