I took time to go replace my motorcycle gear this weekend, and nearly bought another motorcycle. I’m fixing the XT, but it’s taking some time, and I discovered another class of bike I liked that I had passed over previously.

As I think back to when I bought my first motorcycle, I try to remember what was going on in my life that drove the purchase, so I can relate to what I’m feeling now. I had wanted to for a while, but something clicked then. I was having problems at work and at home.

But today is a totally different set of problems. Work is awesome. Home is, well, relationships are a problem, but not in the same way. Back then I was starting to recover from moving out of my ex-girlfriends and finding my self esteem again. Now I’m discouraged about relationships on a meta level, it doesn’t make sense. I keep reassuring myself I’m trying too hard. I think that’s it.

So I want to escape the trying, and I think that’s why I want to be riding right now, why I wanted to be riding last night, and the night before.