I just want us to be friends.
Funny, that’s the last thing I want us to be.

When M asked me what was keeping me from doing what I had talked about, I said it was because those where experiences I had wanted to share with a partner. At some point hence, I wrote about deciding to do them anyway. Now, I’m not sure it’s loneliness, but, it’s like that discouragement, the settling, it took something valuable away with it.