I couldn’t. I don’t.

I’m back at work. I should probably brew a pot of coffee. Tonight was my first dork event representing Opscode. Woot. We all had to introduce ourselves; when I mentioned I was the third Chef committer Adam added that I was also a multi-MVP and something about being a pimp. This is another life. Then, the Highline for the AA fundraiser for the Young Farmers Mixer. God, I spent hours talking to different people I knew and still didn’t get to talk to everyone. I could go on about knowing over twenty people there, from bikes, the awful shark, urban farming, & squid and ink. It’s fascinating, I suppose, to me. As I rode down to the office and looked out over the sound I thought about how absurd it is that this is my life.

I awoke this morning dazed by a dream that brought back old faces from Maine. How can I feel alone after leaving such a party, seeing so many friends, being hit on, being social so successful? I’ve had a, worry, about M, all night. Oh, I finally got to talk to J again today. So much to catch up on. Shit, I don’t know. If it weren’t for feeling lonely, I think I wouldn’t date on principal. And so it goes.