So much energy seems to sink into a desire to be understood. J and I talk occasionally about how I felt like M did, acknowledging this may be pandering a bit to wanting to her to have, and being able to since she isn’t around to prove otherwise. I look back at the range of technical comprehension I exercised today, a bike ride to a four year olds birthday party, an AA organizational structure meeting, dinner with a roommate, and some work in the bike shop. When I think about it, the magnitude forms negativity. I feel like my day puts me further and further from other people, from connecting with them. Maybe that is purely baggage from M. Today was awesome, and amazing things happened.

Everything is prepared to change. Well, not everything. July is almost here though and I foretold epic happenings. There just isn’t any room for running any more. There is Good to be done,  and my life awaits.