Sometimes, when I need something to read while I eat or whatever, I browse the list of paradoxes or list of fallacies on wikipedia. Tonight is one of those times, as I sit at the former Denny’s on fourth. It’s now the 4th Ave Diner, still 24 hour, but a little more of a dive, without being as cool as the places downtown. Further, it’s just the right distance from downtown, as I can drink cofee and see downtown from here, filling my love for cities at night.

I tried to explain tonight how the more I think about the meaning of life, the more abstract and further away from meaning I get. She was a bit argumentative, missing my points, and I considered for a while if I was being arbitrarily stubborn. The more I think, the more possibilities I see, the more angles. There used to be some public television show I watched as a child that pointed out that “a point in every direction is not a point at all.” I’m still behind this thought. I feel like this is a blurry combination of logic and emotion that is forming into a connection to the world.

The headaches kinda scare the fuck out of me, as much as those things do. As much resolution as will come to that part of my life by July, it’s no fun that they’ll have no affect on this. I can deal with this level, I just hope it doesn’t get any worse.