J had interesting things to say about a majority of my recent relationships being with people who were functionally stuck in some lifestyle. It isn’t really a plan over a way issue. I’m inclined to nail it to the wall with a label of perception.

If this isn’t where you expected to be, where did you expect to be? Why aren’t you there? This is a rhetorical question that aligns nicely with the swimming upstream cliché. However, this is not an indication that you should conform and go with the flow either. It’ll just go a lot easier if you stop fighting it.