In regard to short term versus long term pleasures, “[t]here has to be a happy compromise somewhere in there.”
I think if you’re feeling uncomfortable about the quality of your activities, it is a sign to actively do something more meaningful or productive. On the other side, if you’re feeling stressed out, it’s probably time to go out and just have fun. Being an active participant in our own lives this way should achieve balance when we’re otherwise healthy.
As the wheel turns seems to keep turning my fun into stress, but that is a bigger issue with relationships, feelings, and being disappointed with not finding what I’m looking for. My independence and introversion makes working on projects alone a stress-reliever. I don’t know I’d call it fun compared to tomfoolery, but I enjoy it and it typically produces some fashion of wealth, re-defined.
Identity came up again recently in email. ‘Who am I’ is most often what do I value, who do I want to be, and who do I want people to think I am. These questions steer us in big ways and in subtle ways. I’ve thought about the big ways for eons, questioning where I fit in and what is meaningful. I’m pretty sure it is a product of my ever-growing compassion. My mind wanders all over thinking about it, checking myself. How do you value multiple life-styles that appear to conflict? I’ve managed to integrate a few myself. Looking back I recall thinking of myself as a chameleon when I was young, searching to understand why I kept drifting from one group to another. I remember being offended this year when someone implied I wouldn’t fit into a group of blue-collar folks because I’m a middle-upper class professional by day. I think mostly I don’t want to be identified that way, I’m more prejudice toward it, I think because I feel like there’s less time spent creating and that is pretty core to me. The stereotypes are interesting, professionals are supposed to be more educated and open-minded while the lower-class more prejudice. It can go either way, as stereotypes typically can.
Defending myself aside though. I recently read an excerpt in which the author found herself one of two white people in a laundromat in a culturally diverse neighborhood. She lived there, I believe, and was perfectly comfortable, but apparently the other white person in the room was a business person and was very uncomfortable and kept trying to make eye contact with her. She presumed it was because he wasn’t used to being the minority, and went on to rant about how fucking lame and a piece of shit he was for being prejudice. Which sounds a lot like prejudicing that person and placing a lot of blame for other peoples actions or the results of other stereotypes on someone that is suffering. Maybe she’s right, but you know, a lack of compassion never gets us anywhere.
Because you just don’t know. I think I’ve always been quiet, but jumping from one social group to another, wandering between video gamers, country-folk with automotive tinkering habits, open source people, adventure motorcyclists, bike assholes, working in startups, consulting for the successful, volunteering for many different events and organizations, growing up in the woods, drinking with drunks, and so on and so forth, it is really important to walk in and be accepting. It doesn’t mean they’re right, or a point shouldn’t come when you speak up against something you feel is wrong, but choose your battles and give other people the benefit of the doubt.
And I guess, keep in mind that far too often we blame other people for our own problems. Don’t sever your feelings, your humanity.
*exit soap box*