worry

Waking up early when I’ve regularly been waking up late leaves me feeling quite tired after a long day. More training today at ARC. The ‘interact with your classmates who are strangers’ bit is always uncomfortable at first, I’m sure, but I made friends with my partner and buy the end of the day we were surely joking more than we should have been; “Wow, your splint completely healed my open fracture in seconds!”

T had company over so I read in the garage for a while looking for some quiet that wasn’t too dismal like the basement or sleep inducing like my bedroom. After a chapter or so I started cleaning and while moving a door-lock set we’ve had since we’ve moved in for the nnth time, I decided I oughtta put it in already. I kept telling myself I was going to get it rekeyed to match the front door. It’s funny that cleaning up made me put it in, while all the times I’ve come home and had to walk around to the front door didn’t.

A couple of years ago I was talking to my father about movies on the phone and he told me that he had to stop watching movies because they intentionally played on your emotions too much. That was a turning point in figuring out my father. I’m well known by my friends for being pretty emotionally affected by movies or my patient compassion in situations. Plus some ex-girlfriends know all about how big those emotions can get when I’m really open. I’ve thought about that a lot, and over the summer finally came to stop feeling like something was wrong with me for feeling the way that I do. I was sort of forced into that by a breakup earlier in the year, but sometimes life steers for us. Today while watching some training videos, I got caught up in even the slightest hint of dramatic sequence. I couldn’t help it, and started to cry each time. Again, while I’ve come to accept my feelings as being legitimate, I’m worrying lately about the point where I become too sensitive for someone close to me to be able to handle the balance. Not that it matters a whole lot to worry about it now, sometimes you just have to wait and see how amazing the people in your life are.

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