Me: I can’t stop giggling. I blame sleep deprivation.

What, exactly, is a beardo? Based on the rest of that paragraph, it must be something epic. Now there’s a bar set and everything for this story.

Beardist: You know, people with unkempt beards tend to be weirdos. Present company included.

Me: Haha. That doesn’t sound like “didn’t just step out of ambercrombie weirdo” or “doesn’t plan on buying a condo weirdo”. I sense some beardmosity.

Beardist:True, I don’t mind a little facial hair, but I don’t like beards. A beard is a physical barrier between a man and the world. If a guy is interested in being close to a woman, he doesn’t have a beard.

Me: “A beard is a physical barrier between a man and the world.”

That is an epically awesome quote.

“If a guy is interested in being close to a woman, he doesn’t have a beard.”

My mind whirls at the possibilities. Mostly, I’m thinking about the beard that used to beat you as a child, or the non-intimate beard that would never let you get close and went to chop wood instead, or maybe the time that brawny wasn’t the quicker picker upper.

Beardist: UNSUBSCRIBE.

update:

beardist has blocked any future correspondence with you.

Also, those that were wondering what else was said… nothing.