I’ve had to consciously change a few habits lately. Most relevant, writing here from my heart has been suspended because there’s simply too much drama unfolding in every part of my life right now. I won’t name these places. Ry sent me this about feelings and writing, it’s worth a read.

I was talking to Jarrod last night about “complicated” and he said, that he’s fine with complicated, because complicated just means you need to think before you talk and act and that’s a good thing. That man gets a cookie. I’ve had a couple conversations with folks from the ‘hood over the last few weeks about drinking tattoos, having “why not?”, “don’t do it”, “go home” tattooed on your index finger so you can see when you take the next drink. “Think” might make a good motto. Which, in the midst of so much drama, “think: who am I going to hurt by what I’m about to say or do, and am I selfish enough that this hurt is how I want my life characterized”. I know a lot of people that I think would blow this off, or find justification in “just having fun” or something similar.

I can’t escape some things that make coping with depression really hard. I’ve tried to draw some firm boundaries and remove destructive people from my life, but I’m not living in the woods. It’s not entirely possible. Mostly I’m finding better people and embracing them.

I got an email from a date today that expressed our date was abysmal and not to email her again. Sometimes I need that reminder of how different people are, but I’m pretty sure I have enough of it right now too.