I think reusing the same random post titles is a sign of old age.

Back in the office to fix an implosion and get some off-hours cleaning up done to my satisfaction. Blasting Bryan Adams, singing along like my usual eff-tard self, migrating Virtual Server guests to KVM.

I’m generally pretty okay with the way I feel, I don’t really need to be told it’s okay. I think sometimes I need to be told it’s okay with others that I feel the way I do, because I’m not so sure about them. Those others. They.

I have had a few constructive comments saying that missing L is because I’m thinking about her. It’s an interesting chicken or the egg perspective. It was certainly easier to miss her when I knew I’d get to see her again when the best I can hope for now is that I’m not too upset when I do see her. I certainly was thinking about her often, and if I am now, it’s not usually an active choice. I’m pretty sure choosing to think about the past is just going to upset me and not provide me with a whole lot moving forward. So it’s an interesting implication that I miss her because I’m thinking about her, because I have to then ask what part of me is thinking about her? Oh, well, the part that got attached to her personality and company I suppose. That’s getting pretty ethereal.

I once said this was a terrible idea. I stand by that. Obviously. All my indulgent ramblings and emotional outpourings haven’t really changed my values, maybe a little, but mostly it’s something else. But, it doesn’t really matter, this wasn’t really a situation where my thoughts mattered as to it’s course. Which is fine, and reasonable, and I get it. I still feel bad/sad/upset/etc about it and like I said, I’m pretty okay with feeling that way.