You can convince yourself of a lot of things. I didn’t leave work until about 9pm tonight, so on one hand it makes sense that I’m still awake. On the other hand, with everything that’s been on my mind as of late, I’d rather not be. This Jean-Claude Van Damme movie is even terribly non entertaining at the moment. Apparently when dude’s in trouble though, they send boats full of helicopters full of marines. That would be nice to have at the disposal of a phone call next time ninjas attack me on the boardwalk. Is that Led Zeppelin?

Another night with tons of wandering thoughts on my mind with no appropriate or useful outlets though. I’ve been trying to revisit old thoughts of maslow-ish conclusions about life, probably mostly in an attempt to put some sort of sane explanation on the tribulations such that they’ll gasp their last breath and fade away, the strength coming from emotion no longer able to exist.

I keep thinking about perception lately, in an attempt to reason my way of out these places. It seems the more years that go by the harder that is though. Attempts in the past to further embrace my emotions have somehow backfired and left me more and more vulnerable to them.

The winter is almost over though, and for the most part I’m optimistic about things looking up from here, but still not expecting so much.