I really need to take the time to get my phone providing internet access to my laptop. I don’t understand why Seattle parks like Cal Anderson don’t have internet access. Are we worried that parks will start being full of kids on the internet rather than playing badmitton or with hula hoops or whatever kids do these days? I’m getting net off some house though, and while it’s working I’m sticking to notepad right now for it’s years and years of reliable operation. I’ve never had notepad bluescreen or anything before.
It’s nice that there’s a little sun out today even though it’s cold. Of course I can always put on more clothes but it’s such a hassle to drive for hours to find sunlight, especially in the PNW.
Twice this week I’ve gone out drinking and seen Susan’s roommate Carynn and I saw Maria and Papken at Silent-Heart-Nest this morning for breakfast. I know there’s the argument that while Seattle is a big city it’s mostly condensed communities or neighborhoods like Captiol Hill. Still, I often feel like I can’t escape these imposing crappy situations. Sitting here on a swing I’m wondering how much further my head would have to slide before I’m legally insane. I’ve heard a few people lately throw down the “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” quote. Lately I’ve been talking to Meredith a lot about relationships and all the bizarre crap I feel like people around me are doing.
It’s hard to believe you’re insane when you truly feel like that’s exactly what everyone else is. Our reality probably makes more sense to us that other people but I used to feel like I had a better grasp on other people than I did on myself. Even if I feel like I know why people are doing something and it makes sense in that sort of acceptable way to me, lately I just feel like they’re all nuts. It’s totally a bizarre feeling for me to feel sane. Again, sanity is totally realtive to the social group you’re around and I spend a lot of time with mates that feel laid back, so more than ever my ‘laid back yet ancy’ approach to life probably feels acceptable.
Maria had some interesting things to say when we were back east about how much people here in Seattle seem like they aren’t “doers” and want more to appear cool, like doers, but it doesn’t make the cut because it’s obviously fake unless you’re ‘social climbing’. We went into a cafe in Portland, ME and the culture changed for us from being out here. I haven’t had time to work on my truck out here and I’d be willing to pay someone to fix it but I realize I just don’t have any mechanically able friends and don’t want to put things back together to take it to a shop. Tori was right when she said that people in the city generally don’t need to learn such things, but cars aside I feel like in the country on the east coast there were a lot more people experienced in trades. Maybe it’s a country thing, maybe an east coast thing. I’d be willing to be more on the country part because people grow taking care of themselves more than here I think.
It’s not spring enough yet for my social desires to really kick in but I’ve been thinking the last couple of days about being around people. I’ve written and talked in the past a lot about needing to be around people and certainly when I come home from work I’m more in the mood to go get a beer and dinner with friends than to go back home and possibly do something productive. I know it’s some degree of escapism but I just feel so much more alive around people. I’m sure it’s a crazy balance because you have to deal with people’s personalities and differences but it’s gotta be worth it in the end, especially in making life interesting. Sitting in a park with a laptop, DSLR and my phone all on my lap while listening to an ipod seems fucking nuts right now. I’m also convinced I’m nuts though. Wow, what a thought loop I’ve got going here. Time to go get coffee and warm up.